


we will be

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, M/M, Shiro mention, for once its keith sad and not lance, post season two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 07:35:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9711326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Hey, it’s gonna be alright. It’s going to be fine. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”Something broke inside Keith. How could he say it would be okay? Keith had been hiding the worst of what he was dealing with from his friends. He hadn’t let them know he’d been unable to hold down most of what he hadn’t told them that sometimes he thought it would be better to just die. How could a life without Shiro even constitute to a life?





	

“Shiro!” Keith flailed and flew upright, covered in sweat and breathing hard.

He took a deep breath and sobbed. It had been weeks and Shiro was still gone. It had been weeks and Keith was still having these nightmares. He tucked his head between his knees and tried to control his stuttering breaths to no avail.

A weight settled beside him and and he felt an arm go around his shoulders. He looked up to see Lance, his expression solemn. His face was haggard, his cheeks sunken, and his skin ashen, keith supposed he looked no better. They’d all lost weight since Shiro’s disappearance. None of them really ever slept either. How could they?

Keith clenched his jaw and attempted to smother the harsh sobs wracking his throat. He couldn’t feel his fingers or his toes or his legs or his arms. How long had he been hyperventilating anyways? He leaned into Lance’s chest. He was too tired for his pride to be offended, besides, this wasn’t the first time one of the paladins had held him while he cried. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve got you. It’s okay,” Lance murmured, running a hand through Keith’s hair.

Keith nodded in a lame attempt to reassure both himself and Lance. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying this just the tiniest bit. He was sitting on his bed with his long-time crush, who was currently rubbing circles into his back. 

“We’ll get him back. We’ll find him.”

Keith was still struggling to breathe, but it was gradually becoming easier. Lance moved to sit in front of him and placed his hands underneath Keith’s, their palms facing each other’s.

“Deep breaths, okay?” tears were running down Lance’s cheeks too.

Keith nodded again. He didn’t seem to be able to produce a sound other than a squeak. 

“Okay,” Lance brushed his finger across Keith’s cheek. “Look at me, alright? Breathe in for five counts and hold it for five. Then exhale slowly. Okay? One… Two.... Three… “

Keith stared at Lance. He’d once told Shiro he could drown in Lance’s eyes. He let out a shaking breath. Lance nodded, never breaking eye contact.

“Good. again. One… two…”

His hands were warm. Lance’s hands were so warm, but Keith felt so so cold. Keith’s lips were starting to go numb too. He wondered if he would feel it if he kissed Lance. Guilt washed over Keith. Shiro was missing and here he was thinking about some silly crush. A new flood of tears sprang to his eyes, and he clenched his fists. 

“Hey- hey,” Lance uncurled Keith’s fingers and pressed lightly against them with his own. “Hey, it’s gonna be alright. It’s going to be fine. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Something broke inside Keith. How could he say it would be okay? Keith had been hiding the worst of what he was dealing with from his friends. He hadn’t let them know he’d been unable to hold down most of what he hadn’t told them that sometimes he thought it would be better to just die. How could a life without Shiro even constitute to a life? 

“Why!” it wasn’t Lance’s fault. He shouldn’t take his own frustrations out on him. “Why did he have to go! Why him! Why why why?”

Keith beat his fists on Lance’s chest, but he didn’t pull away, though, only held him tighter in his arms. Keith slumped forwards, his shoulders drooping. 

“Why him? Why not me?” his voice was soft, his hands still on Lance’s chest.

He felt his pulse beneath his palms, felt Lance take a deep breath.

“I’d prefer it was him than you,” Lance’s voice cracked.

“What?”

“I’d prefer it was him gone than you.”

Keith looked up.

“How could you say that? We need Shiro.”

Lance stiffened and turned his face to the side. 

“We need  _ you  _ too.”

“But Shiro, he’s… he’s-” Keith leaned his head against Lance’s chest again.

“He’s important. You’re important. We all are. We pilot giant robot lions. Even in the grandest scheme of all things, none of us are nothing.”

Keith was silent for a few moments, listening to Lance’s heartbeat. 

“How am i supposed to respond to that?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t anything to say.”

Keith hiccupped. He was nearly all cried out at this point, for tonight at least. Lance chuckled softly.

“I never imagined I’d be the one doing the cradling while one of us was hurt.”

“You do remember the bonding moment!”

“Of course i do. I’m not an amnesiac.”

Keith hesitated for a second.

“H-how  _ have  _ you imagined it?”

“Imagined holding you?”  
“Y-yeah.”

“Well, usually the universe is safe and we’re staring at the water from our beach house.”

“ _ Our _ beach house?”

“U-usually its everyone’s house. I can’t imagine us not talking to each other after everything that’s already happened.”

“Usually?”

Lance’s heart was hammering. 

“Sometimes it’s just the two of us. How could i live without annoying you every five minutes,” Lance’s laugh was strained. 

He was sure his ears were such bright red that they were glowing. Thank goodness Keith’s face was still buried in his shirt. Keith’s chest hurt. How could he be talking to Lance about these kinds of things while Shiro was out there doing who knows what?

Keith’s breath was still shaky when he peeled himself off of Lance. Keith was sitting between his legs, his own tucked beneath them.

“I… i know this isn’t a very good time for this, but i like you, Lance. I really really like you.”

Lance didn’t speak for a few terrifying seconds. His voice, when he did, was barely a whisper.

“”I really really like you too, Keith.”

They sat there staring at each other for what seemed like eternity before Keith began laughing. Softly at first, then it became hysterical.

“I-” he gasped. “-i never thought I’d get this far. I don’t know what to do now.”

Keith thought he was done he was done crying for the night, but apparently, he was wrong. The overwhelming amount of hurt and joy and guilt had brought fresh tears to his eyes. He scrubbed at them with his palms, trying to laugh his way through it all. Usually, he’d hit something when he was sad. Or he’d shut himself off, but something was different now. Besides, Lance had already seen this much of him, why close off now? Keith found the entire situation so horrible and stupid that he couldn’t help the giggles leaping from his mouth. 

Lance was looking mildly worried, but also like he understood.

“Are you okay?” he said, a wry smile pulling at his lips.

Keith shook his head.

“No.”

Lance scooted forward, arms tightening around him.

“Yeah, me either, but we will be. Don’t worry. We will be.”

Keith smushed his face into Lance’s shoulder, shaking with sobs. Keith wanted to believe him, and sitting like this, with Lance’s body curled around his, he could have.

**Author's Note:**

> im suffering. h e l p m e. kinda (really) poorly written but whatever. follow me on tumblr at xinhuas


End file.
